In this episode of “Weird Qualities That Jessica Possesses,” we discover that she isn’t especially fond of plain bread.
And apparently her name contains a remarkable number of s’s.
It’s not that I don’t like bread — I do. But it isn’t the first thing I reach for when I’m ravenous. I’m simply not a bread person and can often skip the dinner basket unless I’m starving, which, let’s be honest, feels like all the time.
When I do think of bread, I think of it as a canvas for something more interesting: smashed avocado with sea salt and lime; a shallow pool of olive oil sprinkled with parmesan and minced garlic; creamy peanut butter topped with melted chocolate; melty brie crowned with macerated strawberries; or cubes of bread mixed with bacon and other savory bits, drenched in gravy at Thanksgiving.
So while I don’t battle a bread addiction, I make up for it with a serious weakness for cheesecake, cookies, pizza and mac and cheese. Pick your poison.
Certain baked goods — like buttermilk biscuits, cornbread and banana bread — exist in a different category because, well, they are exactly what they are. Bagels are another exception; I like bagels a lot, but they have to meet three conditions:
- They must be fresh.
- They must be perfectly toasted.
- They must be generously topped or filled.
If you’re thinking I’m high maintenance and those around me suffer, you’re probably right. Guilty as charged.
If you know anyone who posts photos of their very dirty home appliances online, send them my way — I clearly need friends.
Last week I stopped by my parents’ house and found a bag of asiago bagels on the counter. Of course the first thing I did was check the fridge — always the fridge first.
Why does food taste so much better at your parents’ house? Why am I tempted by things I normally ignore — gumdrops, buttered rum muffins, two-week-old cold pizza, stale buttery Ritz crackers — when I visit them?
If I love bagels, I love asiago bagels even more. If burning calories on bread were a viable pastime, I’d be at Panera every day. Fortunately, I don’t have to — I made my own, and they’re easy. After a few tries I landed on a reliable version I now keep returning to.
Homemade Asiago Cheese Bagels
Makes 12–15 bagels
Ingredients:
- 10–12 ounces freshly grated asiago cheese
- 2 cups warm water
- 2 packets active dry yeast
- 2 tablespoons honey
- 3 cups all-purpose flour
- 2 1/2 cups bread flour
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 tablespoon brown sugar (for the boiling water)
- Vegetable oil for brushing
Method:
- In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a dough hook, combine the warm water, yeast and honey. Stir and let sit until foamy, about 10–15 minutes.
- With the mixer on low, add the salt, 2 cups all-purpose flour and 2 cups bread flour gradually. After about 5 minutes, if the dough is still sticky, add the remaining bread flour and 1/2 cup all-purpose flour and mix until combined. The dough should be fairly stiff compared to typical yeast breads.
- Remove the dough and knead a few times by hand, forming a ball. Add the remaining all-purpose flour if it’s still sticky.
- Brush a large bowl with oil, place the dough inside and turn to coat. Cover and let rise in a warm spot until doubled, about 1 hour.
- Punch down the dough and divide it into 12 pieces (I got 15) of about 2.5–3 ounces each. Roll each piece into a ball, place on an oiled baking sheet, cover and let rise for 30 minutes. Grate the asiago and place it in a large bowl.
- Bring a large pot of water to a boil and add the brown sugar. While the water heats, poke a hole through the center of each dough ball and gently twirl it on your finger to form the bagel shape. Let the shaped bagels rest 10–15 minutes.
- Preheat the oven to 400°F (200°C). Grease a baking sheet if desired.
- Boil 3–4 bagels at a time: simmer 2 minutes on one side, flip with a wooden spoon and cook 30 seconds on the other side. Remove one at a time, roll in the grated asiago, pressing lightly so the cheese adheres, and transfer to the greased baking sheet.
- Bake for 28–35 minutes, checking after 20 minutes to ensure the cheese browns but doesn’t burn. Bagels should be golden and cooked through.
- Let bagels cool completely before serving. Toast or fill as desired.
Note: I experimented with a starter or sponge per some recipes and didn’t prefer those versions. This straightforward method yielded the best results for me.
I’m still deciding whether having a lifelong stash of asiago bagels is wonderful or a little terrifying. Either way, I’m very glad I can make them at home.