I’m convinced Target is actively conspiring against me.
Everything in that store feels like it was created with me in mind — from the moment I step inside and spot the dollar bins overflowing with the brightest, glitziest, pinkest pencils, plastic necklaces, heart-covered takeout boxes, lime-green whistles and polka-dotted jacks. Across the aisle, swimsuits glare at me in December, festooned with gems, fringe and embellishments that belong on a teenager. Resistance is futile.
I have a 23-second argument with myself about whether to take a cart — I usually try not to because don’t they all scream and squeak? — but after twenty minutes my arms are full of a scarf, an unnecessary purse, two pairs of sunglasses, a denim shirt I wouldn’t buy anywhere else, an aqua sparkly sweatshirt and velvet wedges I’ve convinced myself are worth the $15. At that point a cart is mandatory, because I haven’t even reached the rom-com display yet. Who doesn’t need How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days or Bring It On on DVD, especially when they’re on sale?
And yes, they usually are.
I wander more and more, and before long I’m consumed by guilt because I don’t have the creative eye or interior design skills to use any of their adorable home decor. I don’t scrapbook, but have you seen the stickers? Pizza, tacos, shoes, lipstick, flowers, puppies — they sit right beside colorful card stock and neon post-its. The scrapbook and greeting card aisle is basically the place where sentimental buying goes to die.
I also can’t ignore the clearance endcaps in the food aisles. They stock weirdly irresistible items: expired gum, Halloween sprinkles and make-your-own hot fudge sundae kits that somehow seem essential in the moment.
Believe me, you’ve done it too.
Seasonal dishware moves off those shelves in minutes because everyone apparently needs towels with hearts and a set of six ombre purple bowls that perfectly match last year’s ombre baby-blue pieces. And the beauty aisle? Don’t even ask. I have lost myself somewhere between the loofahs and the lip gloss more times than I can count.
That’s how I ended up with heart-shaped cookie cutters. Me: impatient and easily bored in the kitchen, especially with cookie baking. Yet a set of multicolored, multitextured plastic hearts caught my eye and into my cart they went. I’m a marketer’s dream — give me bright shapes and seasonal packaging and I’m done for. It’s embarrassing and strangely true.
What’s worse than making that purchase? Possibly baking pink strawberry scones with coconut milk, slathering them in an even pinker glaze and decorating them with neon sprinkles.
Oh yes.
Sprinkled Strawberry Coconut Milk Scones
16
scones
30 mins
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Ingredients
- 1 1/2 cups chopped fresh strawberries
- 3 1/4 cups flour
- 1/3 cup granulated sugar
- 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 3/4 cups cold butter, cut into pieces
- 1 cup canned coconut milk + 1 tablespoon
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 3 tablespoons melted butter
- 1 cup powdered sugar
Instructions
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Preheat oven to 425°F. Blend the strawberries with 1 tablespoon of water until smooth and puree. Pour into a large bowl, reserving 1/3 cup of the puree and set both aside.
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In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, salt, baking soda and baking powder. Cut in the cold butter with your fingers, a fork or a pastry blender until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.
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Stir in the coconut milk, 1/3 cup of the strawberry puree and vanilla extract. Mix until a dough forms, then turn onto a lightly floured surface and knead gently.
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Divide the dough in half and pat into two 7-inch rounds. Brush each with melted butter and cut into 6–8 wedges, or use a biscuit cutter for rounds.
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Bake wedges for 12–14 minutes or rounds for 9–11 minutes. While baking, whisk together 3 tablespoons of reserved strawberry puree, 1 tablespoon of coconut milk and the powdered sugar until smooth. Adjust with more sugar or milk, one tablespoon or 1/2 teaspoon at a time, to reach a glaze consistency.
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Remove scones from the oven, let cool slightly, then drizzle with the strawberry glaze and top with sprinkles.
Notes
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