I’m going to let you in on a little secret.
I have no sense of direction. Like… absolutely none.
Hold up, let me check just one more time…
…yep. None. At all.
Yesterday I tried to take a shortcut driving home from a friend’s house and ended up lost during rush hour for 45 minutes. I was without GPS and my phone’s map app isn’t much help for city driving; after a few glances I almost caused an accident. Technology isn’t my strong suit either, apparently.
One time, while driving to the same friend’s house to watch the very important Dawson’s Creek series finale (team Pacey fo’ life!), I took the wrong bridge, moved into the wrong lane, and ran over a giant orange cone. The cone’s owner — a hefty police officer — flagged me down. Any other person might have kept going, but I pulled over like a good citizen. He ticketed me and yelled about the cone and nearly crushed toes. It wasn’t on purpose.
I was still lost and not keen on asking Mr. Cone for directions, so I called my mom, cried, and threw a tantrum. I was convinced missing the beginning of the Dawson’s finale was the worst thing that could happen.
This personality quirk also came up this past Sunday when I asked my partner what nine times twelve is. He stared like my brain had turned to mush. I retorted that I don’t need math skills — who cares what 30% off $79.99 is, except when I want that discounted top? I’d rather eat things that taste good than be great at math. Avocado and coconut haters aside, happiness for me often comes from delicious food, not calculations.
Anyway, after finally getting home last night — three hours later than expected — I comforted myself with three of these cookie bars. Chewing chewy things is stress relief, right? My jaw got a workout and chocolate worked its little miracles.
Chewy Chocolate Chunk Marshmallow Cookie Bars
adapted from a giant rainbow cookie recipe (makes one 9 x 13 pan)
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 1/2 sticks (12 tablespoons) salted butter, melted and cooled
- 1 cup brown sugar
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
- 1 egg + 1 egg yolk, at room temperature
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1 cup chocolate chunks
- 3/4 cup marshmallow fluff
- 1/2 cup crisped rice cereal
Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). Butter and flour a 9 x 13-inch oven-safe baking dish.
Whisk together the flour and baking soda in a bowl and set aside. In another bowl, mix the melted butter with both sugars until combined. Add the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla and stir until smooth. Gradually add the flour mixture and combine until a dough forms — it may look crumbly at first but will come together. Fold in the chocolate chunks.
Gently fold in the marshmallow fluff so it creates a thick ribbon throughout the dough, then fold in the crisped rice cereal for extra texture.
Press the dough evenly into the prepared baking dish. Bake for 30–35 minutes, or until the edges are golden and the center is still slightly jiggly. About 25 minutes in, you can cover the dish with foil to prevent the top from over-browning. Let cool for 30 minutes before cutting into bars.
These bars are chewy, chocolatey, and satisfyingly nostalgic. I suspect I’ll keep getting lost — but at least I’ll have baked goods to console me when I do.
