Something strange has happened.
I’m in spring cleaning mode.
By spring cleaning mode I don’t mean I’m tackling the things that actually matter, like scrubbing baseboards, mopping the foyer floor, or clearing out the space beneath the kitchen sink where dubious items collect. I barely even know what a baseboard is, and my mom says I’d probably still have to pay someone to do it at this point.
I guess that’s not great.
I’m about to do a major closet purge. Every few months it hits me: I open my closet and think, what is that ridiculous hot-pink turtleneck from The Limited circa 1999 doing here? Why am I holding onto an old B.U.M. Equipment tee like it’s a badge of cool? Then I look up at the high shelf I can’t reach and find three pastel American Eagle sweatshirts I wore in high school. I really don’t need to remember that time.
I’m a little horrified when I see the things I used to call “tops” a few years ago. Sorry, Dad. Sorry, world.
When it comes to clothing, shoes and accessories I’m the kind of person who tells myself, “You might want to wear this someday.” No — I probably won’t. But if you find any slap bracelets, I’ll gladly take them.
To give you an idea of how bad it is: six months ago I did a huge clothes cleanse and filled three large black garbage bags with items to donate. Those bags are still in a spare bedroom. Guilty. I’ll try to fix that today.
Beyond the closet, my spring cleaning tasks have included rearranging DVDs of Newlyweds and Sex and the City, stacking old purses in a Tupperware container under the bed for later sorting, removing stray false eyelashes from a ring dish, and organizing eyeshadow by color — and even by event.
The problem with these projects is I often get halfway through, leave the room in total chaos — you can’t even walk through — and then get bored. So I abandon the mess and do something else, which usually creates another mess. Like making biscuits.
Making biscuits is oddly more satisfying than purging closets. I’ve decided I love making biscuits. It’s an official decision by me.
This is funny because last week I spent time saying I didn’t really love bread — with a few biscuit-related caveats, of course.
But the thing I love most is an “everything” spin on things. I adore everything-flavored seasonings, and these biscuits get that treatment. Add fontina cheese and the result is irresistible. I love everything about them — yes means yes.
These biscuits are dreamy.
Everything Fontina Biscuits
Adapted from a blue cheese biscuit recipe (itself inspired by Bon Appétit). Makes about 20 biscuits.
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 1/2 cups whole wheat pastry flour
- 1/2 teaspoon granulated sugar
- 4 teaspoons baking powder
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 1/2 sticks (3/4 cup) cold unsalted butter, cut into pieces
- 1 1/4 cups milk
- 6 ounces freshly grated fontina cheese
Everything topping: 2 tablespoons melted butter, 1/2 tablespoon dried minced onion, 1/2 tablespoon sesame seeds, 1/2 tablespoon poppy seeds, 1 teaspoon dried minced garlic, 1 teaspoon ground sea salt. Mix the dried onion, garlic, sea salt, poppy seeds and sesame seeds together and set aside.
Preheat the oven to 425°F. In a large bowl combine both flours, sugar, salt, baking powder and baking soda. Whisk to combine. Add the cold butter pieces and work them into the flour with a fork, pastry blender or your hands until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Stir in the grated fontina.
Pour in the milk and stir gently until the dough just comes together; avoid overmixing. If needed, use your hands to bring the dough together. Use a 1/4-cup measure to drop portions of dough onto a nonstick baking sheet, or roll and cut rounds on parchment with a biscuit cutter.
Brush each biscuit with the melted butter, then sprinkle generously with the everything topping. Bake for 10–12 minutes, until the biscuits are golden brown and cooked through.
For real!