That’s me.
Yep — it totally is.
Love mocha cake. Tiramisu is my best friend. Give me coffee ice cream and a spoon. Chocolate coffee cookies? Coffee brownies? Yes, please. Kahlua — I don’t discriminate. Stop staring at me.
Hot black coffee? Not for me. It tastes like dirty water.
Still, I want to like it. I try. I fail. Woe is me — I’m not that sophisticated.
The truth: after a few sips of straight coffee I feel wired, jittery, like I’m bouncing on a trampoline. I get the shakes — not the chocolate-craving kind, the actual shakes — and I start sweating. It’s not a great look.
Also, random domestic complaint: there appears to be maple syrup on my laptop. Sticky wrists + keyboard = misery. Meanwhile, Mr. How Sweet is doing a Billy Blanks–style workout while I assemble a Kobe beef burger. It’s chaos.
Anyway.
I realize this blog could use more sweet, indulgent recipes, and that’s exactly what I plan to add. Don’t unsubscribe just yet.
If you’re like me and straight coffee isn’t your thing, it helps to turn it into something more fun. Use a recipe that dresses it up and you’ll be surprised.
Fair warning: these flavored coffee creations rarely taste exactly like a fudgy brownie. I’ve tried s’mores, macaroon, chocolate chip cookie, and mocha mud pie variations. I spent the money and did the tasting for you. Pick a sinful-sounding flavor, but don’t expect it to be a gooey chocolate bomb — it’ll still have that coffee undertone.
That said, add enough chocolate, cream, and sugar and you can make coffee taste like a creamy, dessert-like treat — imagine Ben & Jerry’s Buzz had a baby with an iced mocha.
You might think I’m ruining coffee by adding sugar and cream. Maybe we’re not soul mates after all. But if you save most of the mocha-sugared rim to enjoy at the end, like margarita salt, we might still be on the same page.
Homemade Iced Mocha
Serves 1
Ingredients
- 5 ounces brewed coffee, cold
- 1/2 cup milk
- 1 tablespoon heavy cream
- 2 tablespoons chocolate syrup
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon brown sugar, not packed
For the mocha sugar:
- 1 tablespoon sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon instant coffee powder
- 1 teaspoon cocoa powder
For homemade whipped cream:
- 1/2 cup heavy cream
- 1 tablespoon sugar
Method
- Brew coffee and chill. You can use leftover morning coffee or make some the night before and refrigerate until cold.
- To make whipped cream, beat 1/2 cup heavy cream with 1 tablespoon sugar in a mixer or with a hand mixer until soft peaks form, about 6 minutes.
- On a shallow plate, mix sugar, instant coffee powder, and cocoa powder for the mocha sugar.
- Wet the rim of your glass with a little water, then dip it into the mocha sugar to coat the edge.
- Put 1 tablespoon chocolate syrup in the bottom of the glass, add ice, then pour in the cold coffee, milk, vanilla, heavy cream, and brown sugar. Stir to combine.
- Top with 1–2 tablespoons whipped cream and an extra drizzle of chocolate syrup. Enjoy.
P.S. If you want to be extra decadent, drop in a scoop of ice cream. Your secret is safe with me.