I must tell you about our Saturday nights — they’ve become unexpectedly entertaining.
Recently, our evenings have been delightfully uneventful, and the highlight is often sitting down to watch Suze Orman. I’m not exaggerating — she’s become a running joke and a reference point in our every conversation.
Most exchanges go something like this:
Me: OMG, there’s a Calvin Klein purse on sale and it’s sooooo cheap. I know Suze would say no, but what do you think?
Him: Is it really “sooooo cheap,” or is it just 30% off and still expensive?
Me: No, really. It’s cheap. I swear. Suze would say no. You’re the tie breaker.
Him: DENIED!
Or:
Me: It’s been almost a year since I made lobster mac — let’s have it this weekend.
Him: I don’t think Suze would approve of a million-calorie casserole. Let’s put that money into our (nonexistent) emergency fund.
Me: Ugh. Okay. Then what are we eating?
Him: How about we pick up some filets?
Me: Are you serious?
Suze is everywhere now — at the grocery store, in the mall, hovering over our dinner decisions, and even present when I’m browsing kitchenware online. I genuinely laugh when she tells people they’re crazy for installing a giant waterfall while carrying $100K in debt. She’s like a more practical, slightly gentler version of a TV pundit, and I can’t help but be mildly obsessed.
Who am I, and what happened to me?
To prove my newfound thriftiness, I even decided to bake my own bread — though I admit the real motivation was the promise of “brown butter.” Brown butter is that irresistible flavor that makes me want to drink it. Yes, I’m that person.
I baked this loaf to go with a cheesy parmesan orzo — because there’s nothing I love more than carbs paired with more carbs and plenty of butter. I half-joke that I’d happily nap on top of this pillowy bread right after dinner.
Brown Butter Whole Wheat Soda Bread
(slightly adapted from Bon Appétit)
Makes two circular loaves
Ingredients:
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup old-fashioned oats
1 tablespoon brown sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon dried rosemary
3 cloves garlic, pressed or minced
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 3/4 cups buttermilk
1 egg white, beaten
Directions:
Preheat the oven to 375°F and position the rack in the center. In a small saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat and whisk continuously until it turns golden and you see small brown specks forming on the bottom — about 3–5 minutes. Remove from heat immediately once browned.
In a large bowl, whisk together both flours, oats, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, pepper, herbs, and garlic. Pour in the buttermilk and the browned butter, and stir with a fork until the dough comes together; it will be fairly sticky.
Turn the dough onto a lightly floured surface and knead briefly until silky and no longer sticky. Divide into two equal portions and shape each into a round about 6 inches in diameter. Place the rounds on an ungreased baking sheet, spacing them about 6 inches apart. Brush the tops with beaten egg white and sprinkle with extra herbs and black pepper if desired. Cut an “X” about 1/2 inch deep into each loaf.
Bake for about 45 minutes, or until the tops are golden brown and the centers are set. Let the loaves cool for 30 minutes before slicing and serving with butter.
Note: This is a soda bread, so it won’t be as airy as yeasted bread. Expect a slightly denser, hearty crumb from the oats and whole wheat flour.
One last note: this bread is incredibly easy and requires no yeast. It’s a quick, flavorful loaf that pairs perfectly with butter and a cozy night in — preferably while watching Suze tell someone to skip the backyard waterfall.