Happy day after Christmas — and welcome to my annual roundup of recipe disasters.
For the eighth year running, I’m sharing some of the recipes that went terribly wrong in 2017. To be honest, this list only captures some of the mishaps; there were plenty more. Why do I keep thinking I can throw every flavor together and make everything at once? It never ends well.
The first half of the year I was photographing my next book and finishing dozens of recipe tests, which produced a lot of spectacular fails. In the second half I was racing to prepare recipes before Emilia arrived, and whenever I try to develop a large number of recipes at once, chaos usually follows. So here we are — highlights (or lowlights) from 2017.
For previous recipe disaster posts, see my annual roundups from prior years.
These spirals were supposed to be a version of cinnamon rolls from my upcoming book. They didn’t even resemble rolls — just horrifying blobs. The good news: I perfected the recipe afterward. The bad news: the early photos are a nightmare.
This next one actually tastes incredible — fried burrata, one of the best things I’ve ever made — but the photo looks like a derailed chicken breast. Photo fail does no justice to the recipe.
Here’s a burger attempt ruined by too many runny toppings. It all collapsed into one unappetizing slop pile. Lesson: keep sauces and juicy toppings in check.
This bread turned out painfully dry. I tried to make Irish brown bread for Saint Patrick’s Day and failed on texture, flavor and appearance. It was a total flop and a reminder that hydration and timing matter.
A big pot of pulled pork paired with overcooked noodles that soaked up the homemade tomato sauce — and I chose the wrong cheese, too. The result was bland, mushy and disappointing.
Some experiments are hard to explain — this one falls squarely into the “why did I try that?” category. It looked awful and tasted worse.
As much as I love grapefruit, this grapefruit-avocado slaw was awful — overwhelmingly sour and unbalanced. Sometimes a great ingredient combination on paper just doesn’t work on the plate.
Most of the cakes I bake somehow turn out like this: deflated, uneven or just plain sad. I often skip following a precise recipe and then wonder why the results are inconsistent.
And finally, I tried making pretzel “hug” treats using cookies and cream kisses. They wouldn’t press properly, couldn’t be sandwiched, and ended up embarrassingly ugly. Cute in theory; disastrous in practice.
There were more failures than these, but at least these were photographed for posterity. Here’s hoping the kitchen is kinder in 2018.
So tell me — what was your biggest recipe fail of 2017?