Do you know what it feels like to stand barefoot in the kitchen and scoop freshly bubbling caramel sauce off a spoon?
I don’t—because I was wearing socks. But I do have taste buds, and they’re foolproof: even a whole jalapeño wouldn’t faze me.
Back in the era of purple silk shirts and paisley vests, after spending hours bouncing on my Skip-It while wearing glittery pink jelly shoes, my mom and I used to make a dessert we called turtle cake. Now, at a less mature 28, I realize this cake is likely what people mean by “better-than-sex” cake. Back then, the only thing I thought might top sex was the new Lisa Frank folder I picked up at the store.
I probably spent a little too much time eating that turtle cake—the fluffy chocolate layer we poked full of holes with the end of a wooden spoon, jarred caramel sinking into the crevices, a cloud of whipped cream on top and a scattering of crushed Heath bars—because my favorite rolled jean shorts started to fray and I began to resemble a cased sausage. The cake was best chilled; long after changing into my New Kids on the Block nightgown, I’d find myself creeping toward the fridge, opening the door and plunging a fork into the cool, gooey treat.
Clearly, not much has changed.
This time, I made my own caramel. It was simple, silky, and scorchingly hot. I used it to drench a chocolate loaf cake I’ve made before and devoured within hours—definitely not helpful if you’re trying to avoid the “cased sausage” look.
Double Chocolate Loaf Cake
Adapted from Nigella’s chocolate loaf cake
Ingredients:
- 1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/2 cup cocoa powder
- 1 1/3 cups sugar
- 1 1/2 sticks soft unsalted butter
- 2 eggs
- 1 tablespoon good-quality vanilla extract
- 1/3 cup sour cream
- 1/2 cup boiling water
- 1 cup chocolate chips
Preheat the oven to 325°F and place a baking sheet inside. In a food processor, combine the flour, baking soda, cocoa, sugar, butter, eggs, vanilla and sour cream. Blend until smooth, scraping down the sides as needed. With the processor running, stream in the boiling water until incorporated. Remove the lid and fold in the chocolate chips by hand.
Butter and flour a loaf pan, then scrape in the batter and bake for 50–55 minutes, until the loaf is risen and split down the center. Let the cake cool, then poke holes all over the top with a fork or knife, pressing down so the caramel can sink in.
Salty Caramel Sauce
Adapted from Ina Garten
Ingredients:
- 1 1/2 cups sugar
- 1/3 cup water
- 1 1/4 cups heavy cream
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon sea salt, finely crushed
Combine the sugar and water in a saucepan over low heat without stirring until the sugar dissolves. Increase the heat to medium-high and let the mixture boil, occasionally swirling the pan, until it reaches a golden amber color (about 5–7 minutes). Remove from heat and carefully add the cream, vanilla and salt—the caramel will bubble up. Return to low heat and stir continuously until smooth. Remove from heat and let the sauce cool at room temperature for 2–4 hours to thicken.
When the caramel is cool, pour it over the chocolate loaf, making sure it seeps into the poked holes. Serve with extra caramel on the side.
It is really good—arguably almost as satisfying as that nostalgic Lisa Frank folder.