Oh hi. Guess what day it is? Annual recipe disasters day!
It’s been almost a decade since I started cataloging my recipe fails over the course of a year. This tradition continues, and yes, it’s embarrassingly true how many groceries I go through.
This year felt especially challenging while I’m writing a book—tons of recipes that don’t give me a break. Still, I love sharing the mishaps even when they make me want to swear off cooking.
I probably should have saved the most dramatic for last. Here’s a Thanksgiving secret: thank goodness that’s in the past.
This is what the turkey we smoked looked like. It’s amazing I didn’t stage a kitchen strike. Honestly, it was funny in the end—our guests saw it and thought it might actually be dinner. It’s a memory we’ll laugh about for years, and shockingly I wasn’t in tears.
I tried to stuff chicken with broccoli and cheese. Everything seeped out the sides and it wasn’t much of a feast. Have you ever seen something so liquidy and gross? I wanted to flip the pan and nearly came close.
Then I attempted cauliflower waffles. They’re as trendy as they sound and kind of reminded me of falafel. Unfortunately they stuck to the waffle iron and ruined the appliance. Not helpful that my food science knowledge is limited.
I was excited to swirl fresh strawberries into a cake, but they all disappeared—disintegrated and left me disappointed. The cake tasted bland and looked the part. I still haven’t mastered this and need a big breakthrough.
I tried to make a steak and it ended up resembling Salisbury steak. The dish was meant to be peppery and not scary, but we do eat with our eyes, and this one could only be saved by a big pile of fries.
More strawberry fails. I attempted a danish and it was a real disappointment—neither special nor inviting, and not something I’d want to bite into.
One chicken attempt was actually promising—stuffed with pimento cheese—but it oozed everywhere, covering the pan and making it impossible for me to be a fan of the result.
A few weeks ago I combined pasta and kale in a one-pot pumpkin dish and it was a huge fail. Seriously—look at it. It made me brood and honestly resembled a puddle of jarred baby food.
Then there was the time I miscalculated a salad dressing and ended up serving it in a jar after everyone had been waiting to eat. We were excited for lunch, but the idea was short-sighted and it didn’t work out.
I tried to make pink donuts for Valentine’s Day using pitaya powder; they turned out practically gray. They lacked flavor, had odd shapes, and proved that an awful donut is something we all fear.
Right before attempting puff pastry twists I used a filling that I ended up burning to a crisp. It wasn’t as catastrophic as the turkey, but it certainly wasn’t something to love.
I’ve made plenty of dishes that look offensive yet actually taste good, which leaves me worrying about how to present them so the first glance doesn’t send everyone reeling.
Thanks for following along with my annual fails! It makes me so happy that you stick around when I serve up food we can’t always eat. Hearing from you is such a treat.
See recipe disasters from:
2018 – 2017 – 2016 – 2015 – 2014 – 2013 – 2012 – 2011 – 2010