Can we pretend these are pancakes?
I have good reason.
Two weeks ago, Eddie and I staged a little pancake cook-off. Not just any pancakes — he’s been fixated for months, maybe even two years, on the idea of Lucky Charms pancakes.
It started at one of our favorite brunch spots. Our server mentioned that the week before they’d served Lucky Charms pancakes with a cereal-based glaze, and for some reason Eddie has not stopped thinking about it since. Normally he can’t remember what he ate for breakfast three days ago, so this obsession was extra surprising.
Makes no sense. No sense at all.
Before I go on, I should mention something odd: Eddie doesn’t eat the Lucky Charms marshmallows straight from the box. He only eats them when they’re soaked in milk.
His aversion traces back to styrofoam. He has an intense dislike for the feel and sound of styrofoam — it’s like nails on a chalkboard for him. He cringes, makes hilarious faces and can barely say the word. If a package contains foam, I have to open it for him. Holidays are especially entertaining because my brothers tease him with foam peanuts.
He’s probably reading this and wincing at how many times I’ve said “styrofoam.”
ANYHOO. The marshmallows in Lucky Charms remind him of styrofoam texture. So when I suggested topping pancakes with marshmallows, he looked at me like I had forty heads and said, quite matter-of-factly, “no one eats the marshmallows.” Um, what? The marshmallows are basically the reason people buy the cereal. I know someone (definitely not me) who used to pick every marshmallow out of the box and leave the rest for her brothers.
Still baffled by his marshmallow take.
A few Sundays ago we each attempted our version of Lucky Charms pancakes. Working together in our tiny kitchen is its own challenge, but we did it — my version first, then his.
Here’s something you might not expect: when those marshmallows are blended and mixed with other ingredients, they turn a strange greenish-brown. Imagine greenish-brown pancakes. Charming, right?
That was problem one. Problem two was flavor: neither of us could remember exactly how Lucky Charms tasted, and even after I tossed about four handfuls from the box into the batter, the pancakes didn’t taste like Lucky Charms.
I tried the cereal-milk approach — which I adore when it works — but the cereal didn’t get soggy in milk. Not even after 24 hours. The pieces and marshmallows stayed surprisingly intact, leaving the milk with only a faint flavor. What exactly is in that stuff? I don’t want to know. I’m just going to blend and drink.
Oh, and we ended up buying more than one box for our contest, so I had extra cereal to experiment with. A while back I made spiked Rice Krispie treat milkshakes, so I decided to blend the marshmallows and let them soak in milk first. That improved the flavor. You can also toss a few extra handfuls of cereal into the blender for texture.
Then add vodka.
And if you want to be decadent (or ridiculous), swirl marshmallow frosting on top.
Whipped cream is an option, but honestly at that point it feels tame.
I think I’m done defiling childhood cereals for now. Maybe.
Boozy Lucky Charms Cereal Milkshakes with Marshmallow Frosting
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Ingredients
- 1 1/2 cups Lucky Charms marshmallows
- 2 cups milk
- 4 cups vanilla ice cream
- 1/3 cup marshmallow vodka
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- a batch of marshmallow frosting or extra leftover frosting
- extra cereal for topping
Instructions
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Add the marshmallows to a food processor and blend until powdery. It’s fine if a few larger pieces remain. In a large bowl, combine the milk with the blended marshmallows and stir. Let the mixture sit at room temperature for 30 minutes to infuse.
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After 30 minutes, add the ice cream, marshmallow-infused milk, vodka and vanilla extract to a blender. If you like, toss in a few extra handfuls of cereal. Blend until smooth and pour into glasses. Top with marshmallow frosting or whipped cream and garnish with extra marshmallows or cereal.
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P.S. I totally got him to eat the marshmallows.