No, I am not drizzling chocolate over cheese and vegetables.
But I admit it sounds like something I might do.
If it were opposite day I’d call this chocolate. Since it isn’t, let’s agree it’s balsamic glaze — which works perfectly.
Seriously though: what is the opposite of chocolate? Vanilla feels too predictable. I’ll invent something later.
Where did opposite day come from? For me it started in elementary school, right after the copycat game where someone repeats everything you say. Opposite day was an easy escape when I’d agreed to something terrible without knowing what it meant — “sure” became “no, it’s opposite day.”
Things I might say if it really were opposite day:
No, I didn’t spend ten minutes drawing hearts on the shower door while cranking the hot water up to get more steam. I definitely didn’t write a middle-school boyfriend’s name there either. [Middle-school boyfriend? Quite the contradiction.]
No, I don’t think Eric Northman is especially attractive.
I’m not obsessive about anything. At all.
Opposite day has come back in a different form — those “said no one ever” one-liners on social platforms feel like the grown-up version. They can get a little ridiculous, but every now and then one lands perfectly and makes me laugh.
So in proper opposite-day fashion: you absolutely should not make this recipe. It’s not tasty, the tomatoes aren’t crunchy, the cheese isn’t melty, and the glaze is not perfectly sweet.
Not.at.all.
Oven Fried Green Tomato Caprese Stacks
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Ingredients
- 4 green tomatoes, sliced into 1/2-inch rounds
- 2 large eggs, lightly beaten
- 1 cup panko bread crumbs
- 1/2 cup regular breadcrumbs
- 1/4 cup medium grind cornmeal
- 1/4 cup flour
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon pepper
- 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
- 12 ounces fresh mozzarella, sliced to match tomato rounds
- 12 large fresh basil leaves
- balsamic glaze for drizzling
Instructions
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Preheat the oven to 425°F. Line a baking sheet with foil and place a wire rack on top, then spray the rack with nonstick spray.
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In a large bowl combine panko, regular breadcrumbs, cornmeal, flour, salt, pepper and cayenne. In a small bowl lightly beat the eggs. Coat each tomato slice in egg, then dredge in the breadcrumb mixture, pressing to adhere. Arrange the coated tomato slices on the wire rack, spray them lightly with olive oil or nonstick spray, and bake 25–30 minutes until golden and crisp.
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Carefully remove the tomatoes from the rack. Build stacks by alternating a tomato slice, a mozzarella round and a basil leaf. Finish with a generous drizzle of balsamic glaze and serve immediately.
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Thank you — I appreciate you!
I also did not eat it all. I would never do that.