Dear Monday,
Why do you always have to complicate life?
You spill whole pots of coffee and leave ugly stains on a white dress without so much as an apology. You lock keys inside the house while a roast chicken is in the oven. Not helpful.
I hear you silence alarm clocks, turn off flat irons and hide toothpaste. This morning you made my bed feel a million times cozier, so I hit snooze. You convinced me to eat coffee cake in my workout clothes while standing over the sink. Then you had me lie down on the couch with a second piece of cake while I searched for Nick and Vanessa’s Dream Wedding—only to drape a cashmere blanket over me and make me nap with my shoes still on.
And was it really you who made Ari Gold run to Dana Gordon? Probably. You’re a life ruiner—right up there with Regina George.
Now I sit here dusted in cake crumbs, eyes half closed, with no evidence of a workout. Which, to be fair, doesn’t matter because I ate so many “healthy” things on vacation—salads, grilled chicken, steamed fish, and tons of broccoli. At least that’s what I tell myself.
Or not.
What really annoys me is that you couldn’t make that ridiculous wedding show appear on TV one more time. I scrolled the guide way into August and found nothing. I do want to see it—even though I don’t.
Even worse: I planned to share a healthy dinner recipe today, but you made me post these pretzel-fudge brownie bars I made last week. The ones that balance sweet and salty perfectly, the ones that were supposed to come on our trip but didn’t—because I ate them all.
You probably made me do that, too. Bad influence, Monday.
Peanut Butter Fudge Pretzel Brownies
12 bars
Pin Recipe
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Ingredients
- 1/2 cup butter, at room temperature
- 1 1/2 cups sugar
- 2 eggs
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 3 tablespoons cocoa powder
- 2/3 cup chocolate chips (optional)
- 1 1/2 cups creamy peanut butter
- 1/3 cup powdered sugar
- 1 3/4 cups crushed pretzel pieces
- 6 tablespoons butter, melted
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease and flour an 8×8 baking dish and set aside.
- Combine melted butter and pretzel crumbs until moistened. Press the mixture into the bottom of the 8×8 pan to form a crust. If the crust is too loose, drizzle a little more melted butter over the top.
- In an electric mixer, beat the butter and sugar until fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, then add vanilla. Mix in cocoa, flour, and salt on medium speed until combined, about 2–3 minutes. Fold in chocolate chips if using. Spread the brownie batter evenly over the pretzel crust. Place the pan on a baking sheet and bake 25–30 minutes, or until set.
- When brownies have about 3 minutes left, melt the peanut butter (microwave in 30-second increments, stirring between). Stir in the powdered sugar until smooth. Pour the peanut butter mixture over the warm brownies and spread evenly. Refrigerate 1–2 hours, then cut into bars and serve.
Notes
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Bye, Monday. Please go back to wherever you came from.