These are not going to be pretty.
And they certainly are not anywhere close to being healthy.
If you are lactose intolerant, these might make you regret your life choices.
You may need to buy a bigger pair of jeans after eating them — or at least undo a button.
They’re probably the kind of indulgence you’d happily choose as your last meal.
That’s certainly how I felt.
A few months ago in Baltimore, Ashley and I shared crab pretzels at a restaurant, alongside a grilled Caesar salad that changed everything.
I wish we hadn’t shared those pretzels. They were decadently sinful.
For weeks I debated how to recreate crab pretzels at home. This would not be a simple microwave-measured pile of cheese and crab. It needed to be more luxurious — so I started with a classic roux and built a rich, creamy cheese sauce the way you would for mac and cheese.
Best decision ever.
I used store-bought soft pretzels because I didn’t have time to make them from scratch. If you can find freshly made pretzels, use those — they’ll elevate the dish — but the boxed variety worked beautifully. Truthfully, anything topped with a buttery, velvety cheese sauce is going to be fantastic. I might even eat cardboard if it were drowned in that sauce.
Crab Pretzels
Makes 6 soft pretzels
- 6 soft pretzels
- 1 tablespoon butter
- 1 tablespoon flour
- 1 cup heavy cream
- 1/2 cup milk
- 1/2 cup grated smoked cheddar
- 1/2 cup grated Monterey Jack
- 4–6 ounces lump crab meat
- Pinch of nutmeg
- Salt and pepper to taste
In a saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter and whisk in the flour to make a roux. Gradually add the heavy cream and milk, stirring until smooth. Add the grated cheeses and stir until melted and the sauce thickens. Season with a pinch of nutmeg and salt and pepper to taste. Gently fold in the lump crab meat, taking care not to break up the lumps too much.
Warm the pretzels, then generously top each with the creamy crab and cheese mixture. Serve immediately so the sauce is gooey and the pretzels remain soft.
What you end up with is a warm, doughy pretzel smothered in a rich, gooey cheese sauce studded with sweet crab meat. It’s indulgent, messy, and utterly satisfying.
Does it get any better than this? I don’t think so.